healing from divorce

My Book-Now Available!

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“Grieving after a divorce is an animal in itself. There is the loss of not only the relationship, but also, all the plans and expectations that were made within the framework of that commitment disintegrate as well. Add to that the complexity of feelings that can follow, and the emotional undertow can drag you down again and again. Recovering and regaining one’s footing can feel tentative. Resentment, anger, sadness, and regret are like emotional undertows. I am often surprised by how accessible those feelings are even when I’m feeling really strong. They are right there, within reach. . . . Though we might not be able to become master of our feelings, we can master how we handle them. We can choose to live well and make it our quest to find as many ways as possible to do so. And when sadness rears its head or disappointment nestles in beside us, we can celebrate the endeavor we’re on, the blood, sweat, and tears we’ve shed to get beyond it.” Sarah Burke, This Is Not the End: Reflections on Finding Hope During the End of a Marriage

This book is my love letter to the broken hearted. My hope and prayer is that it might be part of your lifting. When you do not know if you can stand, remember that you are not alone. You are never alone. The collective fold of the broken hearted healers holds you. We have weathered the storm, and we are still standing. We now stand with you. Read it and know. Read it and remember. You are strong. You are a force. You have everything you need to take the next step. Warrior on. My heart is with you. This is, indeed, not the end!

Now Available for purchase online at all major book retailers (Amazon, Westbow Press, Barnes and Noble, etc.)

 

Yes

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A few days ago I posted a picture of my hand with a pretty little sapphire engagement ring captioned with the word, ‘yes.’

Life has and continues to move on.

The pendulum has swung from one direction to the other during a time in which I considered whether or not marriage was even something I wanted to do again. After all, I still live in the aftermath of loss, occasionally shouldering the burden of grief that comes from the mending of a broken heart. No one ever said restoration, healing is easy.

But I believe that God comes when we call. In the presence of a friend, in the aroma of a fresh pot of coffee perfectly timed to greet us in the morning, in the strength that is somehow found to carry on, even when it’s just barely–God shows up. God isn’t just in the bowed heads and Bible verses. God is in the beside me, before me and under and in the invitation, right when we make it or offer the dare. Each offering, be it love, affection, or a good joke is God’s gift. These are the moments when we gain the momentum to keep going.

‘Yes’ has come to mean a lot more to me than ‘I do.’

I’m saying ‘yes’ to sharing life, ‘yes’ to the uncertainty of commitment, ‘yes’ to the risk that loving another person means. What’s different now perhaps than some twenty years ago is that ‘yes’ means I understand that God’s commitment to me is the only one I can fully count on. And that’s ok. It’s been enough so far to see me through some trying times.

The capacity we each have to heal, to get better, to recover is astounding. What strikes me now as I think about the word, ‘yes,’ is that it’s not the first ‘yes’ I’ve made about my future. The first ‘yes’ was for me: a ‘yes’ for hope, a ‘yes’ for healing, a ‘yes’ to believing that life could still be good. Saying ‘yes’ day after day after day got me here.

So I’m going to keep saying ‘yes’ to believing that something quite savory can come out of the fire. A toast to, ‘yes!’